COACHING FOR TWo+

Couples, Partners & Adult Families

 

In my work with couples, my aim is to meet you where you’re at– understand, connect, and identify the patterns you’re stuck in to help guide you out of that pattern into a new more functional one.

We’re aiming for living with integrity. What often evolves is a deep, fundamental transformation: a change in who — and how — you think you can be with yourself and others. A change in how you show up in the world, relationally.

Together We’ll…

  • Honor your inherent basic goodness (your “enough-ness” and “ok-ness”)

  • Work with the hurt and angry parts that are acting out

  • Get to the deeper place of connection and true intimacy

I’m certified in Terry Real’s Relational Life Therapy (RLT) model for couples and families. I also integrate Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), PACT, Gottman and Imago techniques. We get to the underlying issues, and teach skills that you can continue to use together in future.

Want to jump right in?

 

Who I Help


I often work with married couples, interracial couples, couples with different cultural/ethic backgrounds, pre-marital couples, partnered people who are not married, couples along the LGBTQIAP+ TGNC span, and people in polyamorous/open relationships. I also work with adult families. I’m happy to help support you in your journey.

The clients I see are often parents who want to keep themselves from passing the legacy of their own inheritance/maladaptive patterns on to their own kids. You’ll learn to be accountable for your current behavior, tend to the hurt parts of you, and show up differently in the present moment with your partner(s).

“Family dysfunction rolls from generation to generation like a fire in the woods, until one person has the courage to turn and face the flames. That person brings peace to those who came before him and spares the generations who follow.”  - Terry Real

Learn to move from…

Individual empowerment to relational empowerment.

We learn how to repair ruptures and the new cycle of harmony, disharmony, and repair. We learn how to practice — moment to moment and breath to breath — respect and intimacy.

  • Your relationship with yourself is critical

    If your actions are unskillful and cause harm, we can unpack why this pattern has emerged and intervene from there. Sometimes the angry part, the overwhelmed part, the part that blames, the part that feels shame, the part that is rigid and walled off, the part that has no boundaries where “more” is never enough… takes over and can obscure that inner “enough-ness”: we can recover it. You’ll learn “responsible distance taking” and how to take a healthy time out versus the losing strategy of withdrawal, shutting down and “putting out a stink.”

  • Ask for What You Want

    We’ll work on healthy self esteem, boundaries, and communicating clearly. You’ll learn how to replace harshness with loving firmness. You’ll learn how to ask for what you want — shifting from complaint to request — and feeling like you have a right to do that, and learn how to tolerate the disappointment when you don’t always get all of what you want right away. You’ll learn strategies for holding the grief that might come- that existential loneliness - when you don’t always get 100% of what you want, and how that can still be OK. We’ll identify your go-to habits when you get triggered: fight, flee or fix.

  • Power-over versus empowered-with

    We may also discuss social/racial/societal dynamics that may impact you and your relationship at a macro level and that manifest in your micro-relationship. This includes how power and privilege dynamics may be at play given the context of patriarchy (simply put, power-over versus empowered-with) and how intimacy and patriarchy cannot co-exist.

    By the way, any gender can inherit the habit of powering-over another… it’s not reserved to any particular type of person. We’re all affected by it.

 

Coaching for

Adult Families

When children grow into adults, many families struggle to find the right balance between the parenting they’ve known, and the new relationship with their adult children that lies ahead. If you’re an adult child (20’s and beyond), you may feel a push/pull, where there are things about your parent(s) that you still appreciate, but that there are other pieces they just don’t get, and you need to make sure they understand who you are today, in order to maintain a healthy relationship going forward.

I can help - I facilitate conversations between adult children and their parent(s) about relational ruptures, and teach you the skills and tools you need to repair. Everyone deserves to feel safe in their relationships - especially with family.

If you’ve cared about one another enough to find me, I’m hopeful we can work towards solutions that help you live the life you’ve wanted: with the respect, connection, and space you need.

 

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Coaching is not psychotherapy or counseling

As your couples coach, I work with you where you’re at in the present moment. Unlike medical professionals and psychotherapists/psychoanalysts, I do not diagnose illnesses or prescribe medications. The coaching work we do may be life-enhancing and transformational, but I do not view clients through a lens of pathology or unresolved psychological issues. My lens is one of basic goodness and inner wholeness. In our work together, we may use somatic techniques to address nervous system dysregulation to enable the body to feel less stress and more balance. As a coach, we focus on your life as a whole person today, facilitating a process that may open doors to a brighter tomorrow. At times, my clients have private psychotherapists and they find the coaching work we do together can help support them further. Also, if you suffer from addictions, have an undiagnosed psychiatric condition or are in a physically boundary-violating partnership (sexual or domestic abuse), these will need to be addressed ahead of our work together with appropriate medical, psychiatric, addiction specialist, legal or psychotherapeutic professionals.

Featured
L.K., Couples Coaching Client

“You have been a wonderful guide for us. We credit our work with you for the shift in our relationship. Since moving, we have been doing better than ever. Life has been so much less stressful, and we have been able to put your tools into practice and live with more kindness and generosity toward one another.”

ZJ, Coaching Client

“Francesca has helped me to work as an advocate for myself, and to be proactive for beneficial change. She has guided me in my desire to change jobs for the better, resulting in a new job with a higher salary. She has also helped me enhance my self-awareness and improve my relationships with others.”

Brian M., Coaching Client

“Francesca has, in only a few sessions so far, changed how I view myself, my patterns, and my relationships for the better. Her work with me has made me a calmer, more grounded person who is more in touch with all the complex parts of myself.”

Effy M., Coaching Client

“Before working with Francesca, I had already tried to heal various traumas, but the methods I had been using were not enough to help me move past certain challenges. In our work together, I’ve learned skills to help calm my body and mind. My approach to stress, and to life, has been turned on its head. I highly recommend Francesca to anyone looking to process trauma, address ordinary life challenges, or simply improve their overall quality of life.”

FAQS

  • I usually work with couples for 1.5-2 coaching hours every two weeks but may also integrate individual coaching sessions in support of our couples work together from time to time, if needed.

  • Inquire about private two-day couples intensive, weekend group couples training, or your private session here.

 
 

Ready to Connect?

Schedule a Clarity Call

I offer 15-minute Clarity Calls (Zoom) for us to briefly connect to talk about your needs & whether we feel there may be a mutual fit. If you have a specific question or need more information before moving forward, feel free to contact me through my contact form below.